The Say No With Love Letters
Join me as I get personal and deep about how saying no has changed my life. Each week, I’ll dive into the good, the bad, and the raw truths, paired with a tangible, reflective question to help you kickstart your own "Say No With Love" journey. Let’s rewrite the narrative together. Using mindfulness and self-discovery, I help creatives break free from self-doubt and limiting beliefs. At Breathing Space Creative, we embrace the long path, paying attention to everything along the way, especially the things we might usually overlook.
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If no one could see your biggest strength, would you keep working at it?
Say No With Love Letters If no one could see your biggest strength, would you keep working at it? Just me (2 summers ago), side-planking in the corn field, nothing to see here! haha During last weekend's "get unstuck" clarity sessions with my writers, I felt a part of myself heal. Now, if you know me, you know "heal, healing, healed" aren't words I use lightly ( I think I used them all together in one line of a stanza, in the middle of a poem I wrote and published 10 years ago lol). But in...
READ POSTthat jar at the back of the fridge
Weekly Say No With Love Letter that jar at the back of the fridge Dearest Reader, I believe that the most urgent of messages show up exactly when we need them most, but the change only happens if we slow down long enough to listen. And if I've learned anything over the last few years, it's just that: slow down. I had my weekly Say No With Love letter all ready to send out to you folks. But there was something off about it. I reread it a few times and a small thought popped into my head: Is...
READ POSTThe belief I’m finally ready to release
Weekly Say No With Love Letter The belief I’m finally ready to release Dearest Reader, Tell me if you’ve ever thought something along these lines:“Writing craft, a book deal, a chunk of cash, or a surprise stretch of empty hours will untangle everything that’s not working in my life.” That these are the keys. The answers. The balm. ... I cannot believe how long it took me to unravel this thinking for myself. But if I’ve learned anything over the years, it’s that deep-rooted limiting beliefs...
READ POSTWithout the bio line—who are you, really?
Weekly Say No With Love Letter Without the bio line—who are you, really? Dearest Reader, Have you ever asked yourself who you are without the shiny bits? Without the titles, the accolades, the bio line? I received a record number of replies to last week’s people-pleasing letter. This stuff resonates—deeply. I’ve just landed back home after a short trip to Toronto for the Amazon First Novel Gala. It was such a joy to watch Valerie Bah absorb her win—such grace, such presence. And while it was...
READ POSTPeople-pleasing isn’t love—it’s self-abandonment with good manners.
Weekly Say No With Love Letter People-pleasing isn’t love—it’s self-abandonment with good manners. Dearest Reader, People ask me all the time what I mean when I say “say no with love.” And I love that question—not because I have a tidy answer, but because every time I’m asked, I have no choice but to come back to myself. For me, saying no with love means I can trust that I’ve taken the time to check in with a variety of things. With my energy. With my priorities. With how I want to feel in...
READ POSTA quiet break-up I didn’t expect
Weekly Say No With Love Letter A quiet break-up I didn’t expect Dearest Reader, A couple of months ago, I decided to break up with my phone. Not in a dramatic, delete-everything-and-disappear kind of way—but in small, deliberate acts over the course of a few years. Let me share with you how this all unfolded. I started noticing how often I reached for it—not because I needed anything, but because I wasn’t quite sure what to do with the quiet or what to do in the moments between that next...
READ POSTLet the right ones in
Weekly Say No With Love Letter Let the right ones in Dearest Reader, This week, I received four text messages back-to-back. Each one asked some version of the same thing: “Where do you get all your energy?” And while I know the question was likely rooted in admiration or genuine curiosity, something about it stayed with me. The feeling followed me throughout the day. It caught me off guard—not because I was offended, but because of the quiet assumption tucked within it: that the energy folks...
READ POSTDo people tell you you’re too sensitive? Here’s what I took from it …
Weekly Say No With Love Letter Do people tell you you’re too sensitive? Here’s what I took from it … Dearest Reader, When I was young, this part of me—this ability to feel deeply—was often used against me. Especially by those close to me. I didn’t understand why my sensitivity, my quiet way of moving through the world, was seen as a flaw. I was told, more than once, that if I didn’t toughen up and focus on getting ahead, the world would eat me alive. My brother and I 1986-ish? He was one of...
READ POSTVisibility is not the same as being seen
Weekly Say No With Love Letter Visibility is not the same as being seen Dearest Reader, Last week, I shared the story of a little phrase that wouldn’t leave me alone: author care. I wrote about sitting in a cozy Vancouver café, heart pounding, trying to explain this idea to a fellow industry pro—only to be met with polite confusion. I didn’t blame her.At the time, I didn’t have the language either. What I had was a knowing.That something in our systems, in our expectations, in the way we...
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