At Breathing Space Creative we’re here to change the story society tells about artists. It starts with each creative believing their life and work matter, and grows into a world that finally sees the arts as essential. To do this, it starts with the self work. This is how we get MORE from our art.
Every month I’ll pick a common societal belief about writers/artists that are largely untrue today, and share a personal story about how I’ve personally and professionally said no with love to that and how we can all slowly start to reimagine artists role in this world. It’s more urgent now than ever.
This month let’s say no with love to this: ⬇️
“Changing plans means you lack professionalism.”
Reader,
I’ve had a very full couple of weeks, and for some reason it brought me back to four years ago, when I was launching Junie. Back then, I was saying yes to everything. Workshops, panels, readings, guest talks ... if someone asked, I said yes. That’s what we do, right? That’s how we carry our books into the world.
But I remember the moment I got it wrong. I had said yes to two events that, because of timing, made it impossible to do both. I had already committed. One of them had even purchased my plane ticket. I kept staring at my calendar as if it might rearrange itself. As if I might somehow split into two versions of myself.
I couldn’t, of course.
This morning, as I sat down to write this letter, I made a different kind of decision. I cancelled my free Memoir as Practice sessions for this month. Partly because I’m just coming out of a week-long flu haze. But also because I’ve been avoiding my next novel.
There it is. The truth!
Part of being a writer is noticing these patterns when they show up. Naming them. And then asking yourself what you’re actually going to do about them.
Just because I’ve been doing this work for over a decade doesn’t mean I’m immune to the same loops. In fact, I could see it clearly this time. I was saying yes to more. I was even creating more free offerings. And if I’m honest, some of that energy was being redirected away from the very projects that matter most to me and I think at the back of my mind, I knew that.
It’s humbling to see yourself do this in real time.
The conditions were right. I have meaningful well balanced and timed client work. I have three beautiful creative projects waiting patiently. I’ve done the difficult work of stepping back from some of the most complex personal situations in my life. I had prepared the space. The stage was set.
And still, avoidance found a way in. It wedged its little foot right on in the door.
This is the part no one really talks about. Prioritizing your art isn’t something you figure out once and master forever. It’s ongoing. It’s seasonal. It’s relational. But when you start to see your creative life as an ecosystem instead of a single task, something shifts. You begin to recognize the patterns sooner. And instead of drowning in guilt, you make adjustments. You return.
This morning, I cancelled those sessions because I was tired. And because I want Sundays to belong to my own work again.I want to re-prioritize my writing projects and my teaching. I had let that fall away. Writing this to you is part of that commitment. It’s a small act, but it matters. These decisions reshape how we move forward. They remind us what we’re protecting.
Stack of novels I am revisiting as i dive into my own. Fiction is a very different beast!!
I wanted to share this with you because dips and detours are part of the terrain. We avoid. We overcommit. We question ourselves. We forget and remember and forget again. Each new project asks something new of us. Each one requires us to recommit in ways both at low volumes and at megaphone level.
I think often about that moment four years ago, when I had to choose between those two events. I knew that no matter what I decided, someone would be disappointed. I remember sitting with my values and asking myself what mattered most in that season. I made the choice. I felt the discomfort of it. And then I moved forward.
That decision taught me something important. When your no is rooted in who you are and why you do what you do, it doesn’t hang out as regret. It becomes part of how you learn to stand inside your life. Inside your ecosystem. Your dream home. It's okay to turn the volume down on certain areas of life when you need to. Even if just temporarily. You can turn it back up when the time is right.
So I’m sharing this with you now as a small reminder, from one writer to another: sometimes your work needs you to protect it. Sometimes that means turning the volume down on other parts of your life. And sometimes it means doing the opposite.
The art is in knowing which is which.
I hope to see you at the Say No With Love workshop on March 29. Every year, the stories deepen, and every year I leave reminded of why this practice matters so much. It’s a session you can attend again and again. The first time you attend, it might be about learning and listening. After that, it becomes about going deeper—arriving with things to report or share, and being shaped by the new voices and conversations that gather each time.
I've changed this session to pay what you can instead of just free because it's a message to me that my time and energy are valuable too ; )
okay, back to my novel! ;)
If this letter moved you in some way, please forward it to a friend.
This Week's Reflection Question: What's something you want your current project-in-progress to know? If it were a real person, what would you say to them?
After answering the reflection question, revisit what you wrote. Is there a single line—just one—that surprised you? Maybe it stirred something. Maybe it made you pause. Copy that line out. Sit with it. As always, if you feel called, I’d love to see it. Hit reply and share it with me.
Have a creative "myth" that you'd like me to explore in one of these monthly letters? Please share it and I just might add it to my queue ; )
What's happenin' in the studio:
Every month, I’ll share a little peek into what’s happening inside the wider Breathing Space Creative studio. We shift things seasonally, so if something sparks your interest, take a look while it’s still in this season’s mix.
Say No With Love Session is back for Spring 2026!
The popular Say No With Love Workshop is for creative thinkers and writers (and nope — you absolutely don’t have to be a writer to attend!) who want to set nourishing boundaries, protect their creative energy, and build a creative life they actually want to return to again and again.
No two creative lives look the same. This workshop invites you to get honest about your life, your season, and your real needs and put them FIRST.
I'm currently building a transformative retreat inspired by my book Let It Go and the insights of literary greats. Together, we’ll explore writing, art, and reflective practices to shape your own “dream home”—a space where all parts of you are welcomed, decisions are rooted, and your life feels fully aligned. Bring a friend and uncover what matters most while creating a foundation for a life that truly feels like home.
Recommended Creative Investment |If you enjoy these letters and they help you in some small way, consider a tip! These small amounts truly help me offer more support in a sustainable way, without stretching myself too thin. When I think about it, they make it possible for me to prioritize my own creative work while still sharing what I’m learning and discovering with the community. We’re no longer living in a world where it’s possible to offer everything freely, and these contributions help create a balance that allows the work to continue!
