You must follow traditional paths to be recognized?
Published 3 days ago • 7 min read
Say No With Love Letters
At Breathing Space Creative we’re here to change the story society tells about artists. It starts with each creative believing their life and work matter, and grows into a world that finally sees the arts as essential. To do this, it starts with the self work.
Every month I’ll pick a common societal belief about writers/artists that are largely untrue today, and share a personal story about how I’ve personally and professionally said no with love to that and how we can all slowly start to reimagine artists role in this world. It’s more urgent now than ever.
This month let’s say no with love to this:
“You must follow traditional paths to be recognized.”
Reader,
Sunday morning, I curled into the little “thinking nook” I carved out in the corner of my office and glanced over at the stack of books piled beside me. Without looking I grabbed the one that happened to be on top and started reading.
By page twelve ... (twelve!?!) I had already underlined, circled, sticky-noted, and tabbed nearly every page. I hadn’t even made it out of the introduction.
Over the last decade, I’ve been stitching together a very particular quilt of experience, skills, trainings, lived moments, deep listening, to help me understand not just what I’m trying to design in my work, but how that design could serve something larger than me. Much, much larger than me.
I put the book down and immediately opened my laptop.
an actual excerpt from the email I sent to Dorie! Unfiltered.
There I was, still in my pyjamas, typing an email to an author/creative entrepreneur I’d followed for years but never reached out to, because I needed her to know how seen I felt inside her words, her values, her lived experience. I could see the value. I could feel it.
“Great work is necessary, of course. But it’s a starting point. You and I all know talented people—just as good as the pros—who never made it. There are always steps, techniques, strategies. But when those who have already made it don’t share what they know? No one else really learns what it takes. The process remains shrouded in secrecy. That makes me angry.” —Dorie Clark, The Long Game
See? Page 12. Just ... page 12.
That landed immediately, y'all.
I share my personal stories, tips, and experiences so openly because I know the cost of not sharing them, and that’s not a price I’m willing to pay.
As I typed that email to Dorie, I noticed something else: I wasn’t overthinking. I wasn’t filtering myself. I wasn’t rewriting every sentence for an hour. This wasn’t that kind of email. And I loved that. The act of reaching out felt clean, grounded, generous. If she replies, wonderful. If she doesn’t, that’s okay too. It took a lot of self-trust building to operate in this way and I'm not really doing anything revolutionary ... I'm doing a lot of the same things ... just ... differently (more on that in a minute).
The reaching out itself is the practice. It’s a muscle writers have to start and keep flexing.
I promptly added this to the “assets” column of my creative net worth sheet (yes, that exists, and yes, there's a workshop coming, checkout the footer of this letter).
These skills matter. Where else do we learn them if people don’t openly share?
Later that same day, I logged in to renew a certification. Midway through, I came across a newly revised set of principles (attitudes) about how different emotions (and even different states of being) can coexist. We know this, intellectually. But reading it there made me think about the writing and publishing world.
How can we accept what is and advocate for change? How can wee feel gratitude and name what isn’t working?
Because we know it doesn’t have to be either/or.
Naturally, I opened my Trello board—the one with what I call my "speaking menu." It’s a nerdy little list of every workshop and talk I’ve ever given, plus a section called “dream topics” that keeps expanding as I grow.
I added two new ones:
And then immediately thought: Am I ready for this topic? It's okay if I'm not there yet. What do I still need to learn in order to get ready? What growth needs to happen before I can step into it fully? Who do I need to be in conversation with?
There's probably quite a bit or work to be done, which is A-okay with me. But now I have direction. And this, my friends, is the stuff that doesn’t show up on a syllabus. (Yet.) Being a writer today means we have a lot more ways to share our stories.
When we talk about a whole-person approach to creative work, we have to remember that it can be both/and. Traditional paths—MFAs, structured programs—can exist alongside practices that zoom out, that centre the self, that consider the wider ecosystem. They don’t cancel each other out. They can coexist.
Oh wait .. for the people in the back ..
They CAN coexist.
It still amazes me how many writers I speak to/work with after their creative writing programs who feel unprepared for the industry they long to be part of. And how many established writers—book five and beyond—tell me the exact same thing.
These states can coexist.
In fact, I often battled with myself about my university teaching and how I thought I had to "let that fall away" in order to run my studio.
But ..
Yeah, they can coexist!
Last year, I lovingly published a guided journal for writers called Safekeeping: A Writer’s Guided Journal for Launching a Book with Love. Recently, I found myself rereading the foreword by the brilliant Ivan Coyote ... someone who has published more books than I have fingers ... and one line keeps pulling me back:
“As I read Safekeeping, and rode the waves of feelings this insightful book and the advice it contains brought up in me, I didn’t think that if I had to do it all over again, I would do different things, but I know for certain that I would do so many of the same things so much differently.”
Chester recommends! Ps this is my marked-up-author copy which I also talk about how to do in chapter 6.
That’s it, isn’t it?
In our creative lives, we can keep doing the same things (writing, drafting, connecting, speaking, showing up) but do them differently.
I didn’t plan to write this letter yesterday. Didn’t I say, three months ago, that I’d only write once a month? And yet ... here we are. I couldn’t not write it.
All of this unfolded beautifully. Even alongside the hard stuff of personal life. Especially alongside it. My life is currently lifin' and still I write this.
They coexist.
The work we do on the self informs the creative work, which shapes the wider ecosystem we live inside. You don't have to choose one path over another. Can we zoom the lens out far enough to notice what’s always been just beyond our peripheral vision? can we look, even for just a second or two? A lot can happen in the pause.
Okay deep breath! That was a lot for a Sunday/Monday and all of it (including writing this) was unexpected.
Just 12 pages. A start.
Can you imagine what I’ll carry with me once I finish the book?
But maybe that’s the point. Knowing when to pause. Knowing when something has moved you enough that it deserves space. That feeling matters. That pause matters. This is where deeper thinking and real change, begins.
Non-traditional paths don’t replace traditional ones. They can walk alongside them. They can even build community together.
We’re in a new era. A new age. And whenever we step into something new, everything shifts.
The unimaginable becomes possible.
Reflect + Rewrite
This Week's Reflection Question: What's something you read lately that's helped you feel seen or heard?
After answering the reflection question, revisit what you wrote. Is there a single line—just one—that surprised you? Maybe it stirred something. Maybe it made you pause. Copy that line out. Sit with it. As always, if you feel called, I’d love to see it. Hit reply and share it with me.
Have a creative "myth" that you'd like me to explore in one of these monthly letters? Please share it and I just might add it to my queue ; )
See you next month! If this letter moved you in some way, please forward it to a friend.
with love, Chelene
Founder, Breathing Space Creative
Want to explore more of my work? I offer bespoke writing mentorships, creative support calls, and free creative resources through my studio. But for now, just take what you need. I’ll be here.
What's happenin' in the studio:
Every month, I’ll share a little peek into what’s happening inside the wider Breathing Space Creative studio. We shift things seasonally, so if something sparks your interest, take a look while it’s still in this season’s mix.
Establish Your Creative Net Worth
This is going to be an interactive session where we look at all the micro processes, inventory, experiences etc that make up a creative asset list. We will look at liabilities too, and I have some super fab exercises in mind. I have a feeling this is going to be one of the most innovative sessions I've offered to date. I feel it in my bones! I'm still building it and I want to take my time so please, if interested, put your name on the list so I know who to get in touch with when it's ready.
Our Winter Workshop: The Breathe IN Workshop Because sometimes we just need a breath ....
This one-hour pay-what-you-can session invites you to pause, breathe, and listen differently—to yourself, your work, and the quiet patterns shaping your days. Inspired by my Breathe IN Method, this workshop uses writing as a reflective tool to help you notice what’s surfacing beneath the surface—what’s asking to be seen, understood, or carried forward.
Recommended Creative Investment |Beauty, Terror, and Everything InBetween Lately I've found myself looking forward to Shoshana's newsletters and let me tell you ... I always take something away. I'm always moved. In her last letter she briefly touched on Toni Morrison's stance on anger, and it got me thinking about how pivotal a guide Morrison has been for me. Anyway, you gotta get on her list. Shoshana is a no-nonsense writer, one to watch!
