Saying no with love has been one of the most transformative shifts in my life.
It’s not just about saying no, but also about receiving and accepting other people’s no’s with the same grace. To me, this is one of the deepest signs of growth.
Me in my workshop delivery mode! : )
As creatives—especially as writers—rejection is an inevitable part of the journey. It’s something we have to get comfortable with. But what I’ve learned is that when I say no to an opportunity, a client, or a project, it’s rooted in purpose (this is the core of what we do in the Say No With Love Workshop). I’ve taken the time to understand why it’s not the right fit and how protecting my energy is essential. This has helped me release any guilt associated with delivering that no.
But here’s where the BIG shift happened for me:
When I receive a no, I no longer take it personally. It doesn’t sting the way it used to. How did this happen? Because years ago, rejection would shake me to my core.
I think back to when we first started pitching my guided journal (which is now set to launch in January 2025). I faced 30, maybe 40 rejections—each one felt like a personal poke at my heart. Each time I opened an email rejection, I felt like a different piece of myself was stabbed. And after a while, I started to question if this was even worth it.
But as time went on, the sting became less intense, and soon, it barely affected me at all. I needed to figure out how this sting started to shrink:
Here’s what I’ve come to realize through an intensive reflection session:
I’ve increased the value of my creative self. I no longer tie the no to my worth or the value of my work. Rejection doesn’t mean my project isn’t valuable, it just means it wasn’t the right fit for that person at that particular moment.
I did the work of developing my project pillars. Knowing my book’s why, its action (what I wanted it to do in the world), and my non-negotiables gave me a solid foundation. These pillars became a source of strength and clarity.
The Say No With Love Workshop itself was a catalyst for this change. I started to see the no for what it really was—a decision based on someone else’s goals and priorities, not a reflection of me. That perspective shift was huge.
Why am I sharing all of this with you?
Because it’s taken me years to get here—to understand, to process, and to share these insights. And when I offer tools to the community, I want it to be with the understanding that lasting change comes when you dig deep into your own unique way of living and creating. My tools and strategies will offer only temporary change if you don’t cater them to suit you.
This kind of work has the greatest impact when we build on previous successes and learn from past challenges. And I believe it’s better done in community.
There’s a personal intimacy to this kind of growth, and I believe it’s best cultivated in a trusting relationship, built over time.
Starting in 2025, the workshop will only be available to members of the Forever Writers Club. In this more intimate setting, I can work closely with each person, learning their unique journey, and helping them grow in ways tailored to their life and creative path. We’ll continue to build on this work season by season.
If you haven’t yet signed up for the Say No With Love Workshop, this may be your last chance to experience it in this form.
Saying no in a way that aligns with who I am has opened doors, increased my confidence, and brought me closer to my unique goals. I’m not doing this work by accident. I want that for everyone I work with.
I hope to see you there!
Share this with anyone whom you think could benefit from the workshop one last time!
Reflective Question: What does saying no (with love) do for you and your energy levels?
Chelene
What I'm saying YES to this week ...
As we know, with every "no" we are also saying yes to something else that we've now organically created the space for. Each week, I'll share what I'm saying yes to whether it's a book, a project, and event, a food ... the possibilities are endless!
Sept Prep | Decluttering & Organizing
Every September, I do what I call my "Sept Prep," a ritual of clearing out the clutter from my home, head, and heart. It’s a time for letting go. I start by reading through my "release me" jar, which holds all the things I’ve worked on removing from my life over the past year. Then, I declutter—recycling old papers, donating clothes and household items, and making space for new energy. September has always felt like my true "New Year," a fresh start that grounds me for the season ahead. I also treat myself to a new notebook from *Hemlock & Oak hehe.
*this is an affiliate link, if you make a purchase, I receive a small commission, isn't that nice?!
Join me as I get personal and deep about how saying no has changed my life. Each week, I’ll dive into the good, the bad, and the raw truths, paired with a tangible, reflective question to help you kickstart your own "Say No With Love" journey. Let’s rewrite the narrative together. Using mindfulness and self-discovery, I help creatives break free from self-doubt and limiting beliefs. At Breathing Space Creative, we embrace the long path, paying attention to everything along the way, especially the things we might usually overlook.
