Reader,
You don’t have to sacrifice pieces of yourself to create something meaningful.
Last week, I found myself skimming through my book Let It Go—something I do each month as part of a reflective share in my Thrive Coaching Program. It’s my way of checking in, seeing what still resonates, what has evolved, and inviting my clients to do the same in their own creative work.
I landed on the final chapter, Coming Full Circle, and two things stood out.
First, this opening quote from bell hooks:
“It was love’s absence that let me know how much love mattered.”
And then, a passage of my own from the final page:
“When we create something and usher it out into the world, we give a piece of ourselves away. A part we can’t ever get back.”
These words land differently now. They took me back to my younger self—the girl who lived in lack, who always dreamt of elsewhere, who just wanted to feel safe, even when she had no idea what safety really meant aside from the desire to feel like a kid instead of the adult she was forced to be. I remember wanting life to be easier for my mom, lighter, fuller of love. I used to wonder how her life might have been different. And as I got older, I tried to offer that love and safety to others—to fill the absence I once felt, as bell hooks so beautifully describes.
So yes, when we put our work into the world, we do give something of ourselves away. But now, I no longer give away the parts of myself that I want to keep—the sacred parts, the parts that fuel me rather than drain me. That’s the biggest shift. Because while I still catch myself over-giving, I now know how to refill myself through this ongoing work of saying no—a practice I’ve cultivated over the years.
This means:
- Saying no to events that take more than they give.
- Saying no to asks and spaces where I can’t fully speak to my core message—one rooted in love, care, and deep connection.
- Saying no to myself when old patterns creep back, when I find myself over-extending at my own expense.
And as a writer, I see this practice mirrored in the creative process. Revisiting our work helps us notice what has remained steady and what has shifted.
As I work on my next novel, I plan to revisit my first one—not to judge or compare (or to be hard on myself!) but to reflect. What’s changed? What do I want to do differently? And perhaps the most important Reflective Question: What parts of myself do I not want to give away this time?
I wonder—if you were to revisit your own creative work, what would it reveal to you? What has shifted? And what do you want to hold onto for yourself?
I’m thinking of hosting a free writing session where we explore these questions together—digging into our past work to uncover where we’ve grown and where we’re still holding on.
If this speaks to you, I’d love to hear your thoughts. How do you envision this session? Would you prefer quiet reflection, guided prompts, or space for discussion? Let me know what would make this experience most meaningful for you.
Hit reply and tell me what you think. I’d love to create something that truly supports you.
with love
Chelene
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