Reader,
I’ve talked a lot about listening in these Say No With Love letters. But this past week, something shifted. I didn’t just talk about listening—I embodied it. And what surfaced was a deeper, more textured understanding of what listening truly means.
To me, listening is more than what you hear. It’s what you feel in your body. It’s your stillness, your breath, your instinct to lean in. It’s the subtle shifts you notice in others when you’re fully present. Listening is emotional (big time). It’s energetic. It’s physical. It’s woven into everything we create.
Over the years, I’ve learned that reading directly from my books doesn’t always feel natural to me. It’s never quite felt like my element. But I do (sometimes) say yes to these opportunities—not to change who I am, but to challenge my thinking, to check in, to stay curious, to remain open to surprise. I’ve come to understand that giving readings feels more natural when I can combine it with conversation. That’s the data I’ve collected over years of thoughtful reflection.
Being a writer today is a textured experience. There will always be aspects of the work that don’t come easily. The question is: Are you okay with that? Or do you feel called to shift it?
Is it okay to let certain weaknesses remain as they are? I think so. If it feels like the right decision for you and this is an especially important aspect to figure out for yourself, especially in today’s world. AI can’t make that decision for you haha!
Even after more than ten years of giving readings, adjusting, experimenting in different spaces, the act still feels a little off, but the difference is, I think I’m okay with that now. But the people—always the people—are the highlight. Being in the room, feeling the energy, finally meeting folks I’ve only ever seen on a screen—that’s where I light up. That’s where the exchange happens. That’s where I find connection. That’s where I’m fully myself.
Because being in conversation—that’s where I feel most at home. Whether it’s one-on-one, in a group, or through shared reflections, it’s in dialogue where I truly land. What we know and learn about ourselves through constant evaluation is an absolutely pivotal act in today’s world.
This became beautifully clear to me in a recent conversation with Antonio Michael Downing on CBC’s The Next Chapter. We talked about:
- how to ditch professional jealousy
- how to make a living as a writer
- why mentorship matters
- and why, sometimes, the best way out… is in.
Antonio asked the kind of layered, thoughtful questions that allowed me to show up in my preferred way. And although I was in my element, it reminded me that conversation isn’t limited to interviews, giving readings, or events—it’s embedded in how we write, how we support each other’s work, and how we move through the world.
At one point during the interview, Antonio dubbed me The Author Whisperer—and I laughed, but also deeply loved it.
I’m also currently blurbing his upcoming novel, Black Cherokee—and that act, that decision, too, is a form of conversation. A slower, more intentional one. A written dialogue of resonance.
Because writing isn’t just about getting the words down. And it’s not just about reading from your books or talking about them. Being a writer in today’s world means showing up with all the beautifully refined and flawed parts of who we are. And if that isn’t something to look forward to—I don’t know what is.
Reflective Question:
What uncomfortable actions have helped you hear yourself differently?
with love
Chelene
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