Reader,
Picking up from where we left off last week—that uncomfortable, almost cringey feeling of re-listening to our own voices—it got me thinking about another discomfort I’ve been grappling with: money. More specifically, my relationship with it. The stories we carry around it. I think, no matter what you do, this is something that hits home for everyone.
I grew up with this really heavy fear around money. I feared not having enough, and when I finally had some sense of security, there was a fear around keeping it, like it could vanish in a heartbeat if I wasn’t careful. And if you’ve read Dear Current Occupant, you know I used to sleep with money under my pillow when I was young. The fear was thick.
If you’ve read my latest book Let It Go, you’ll know that in 2017/2018, I went through a serious burnout. It was the kind of burnout that almost made me walk away from the creative world entirely (and looking back OMG I cannot IMAGINE what I’d being doing if I decided to walk away). Money wasn’t the only factor, but it was a major one. I had spent years saying yes to everything, pushing through projects, overextending, all because I had this constant fear that if I slowed down, I’d lose everything I’d built.
But one day, at my rockiest point, I had to ask myself a hard question: Did I want to keep holding onto this lifelong, learned fear around money, or did I want to do the work to change it?
And, okay, I didn’t dive straight into change. I threw up every excuse imaginable: “It’s not my fault; this is how I was raised. No one ever taught me about money. I live in the country’s most expensive city!” On and on. But at some point, I had to wonder—what was it costing me not to shift this thinking?
The answer? A lot. Then, I thought about my son. I wanted him to see that these stories we carry, even about something as loaded as money, are changeable. That’s what gave me the push. I wanted him to witness the shift.
So, I slowed down and looked at everything I’d been sidestepping:
- What I was saying yes to
- The kinds of projects I was taking on
- The people and environments I was surrounding myself with
- The emotional tax I was paying by over empathizing with everyone, and every world event (stay tuned because later this month I want to share how I have redefined my own activism)
- Feeling like I had to “fix” vs extend compassion
- And, the biggest hurdle? Money.
Facing all this wasn’t easy. But we can’t change what we refuse to look at. So, I got uncomfortable. I started owning my past mistakes (a lot journaling and speaking with trusted people), learning the language I needed to engage with money in a healthy way (speaking with other writers), and aligning my financial decisions with my energy and my vision for the future (here's the lifelong work). The biggest thing was I had to be okay with working on this forever.
Now? I’m excited. I’m not looking back from a place of guilt or shame (although I DID have to humbly walk through it), I’m looking at what’s possible, and that alone has been a game-changer. This energy shift has led to some huge conversations and ripple effects.
Inside the Forever Writers Club, we’ve been having these money conversations. We even did a live brainstorming session that sparked such powerful ideas. It’s incredible to see everyone shifting into an abundance mindset together. When you open up in a space like that, it strengthens connections in ways that are so needed—truly seeing each other.
I didn’t start the club to tell people what to do. I built it so we could learn together, so we could trust in the value of our lived experiences. I'm not afraid or embarrassed to share personal happenings because so much wisdom is birthed from hardship, y'all. Every writer in the club has taught me so much; they’ve shown me the courage in being vulnerable, in looking back without letting it define us.
Money conversations are hard. But in the club, we’ve taken them on in stages, breaking down old mindsets, realigning, and just talking, sharing, asking questions. Looking in the mirror isn’t meant to be easy. But once we start looking? Big things can happen.
We really can’t change what we don’t look at. And when we finally do? That’s when the magic begins.
Reflective Question: What is one belief or story you’ve been carrying about money, and how might it be holding you back from what you truly want?
With love,
Chelene
As always, if you know of a friend who could benefit from reading this weekly share, please forward share. I want these personal shares within the Say No With Love Newsletter to reach the right people : )
