Since the beginning of the year, my partner and I have been putting 50 dollars in a little vinyl zip envelope inside one of my old planners. Every week I’d show up to his office with my little planner, pen, and envelope, ready to collect and update the tracker lol. Hey, give me a process I love, and enter consistency.
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When I was a kid, vacations weren’t even something I thought were real. Didn’t that only happen to the families in my favourite TV shows? When my friends at school would talk about where they were going for winter break, I’d think, what? But what I notice now, looking back, is that there weren’t inklings of jealousy. There were definitely pangs of not fitting, of not belonging, but rarely jealousy. I was always a curious child. I asked a lot of questions. How could I make my winter break feel like a vacation, even if I never left the cramped room I shared with my brother?
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In today’s world, we are in constant motion, our heads on a swivel, always looking for ways to fit in, to belong. It’s innate. We can’t help it. We seek out spaces where our whole selves are accepted and desired, even the old, broken fragments we carry with us.
In one of my old keynotes, I asked the room of 200 conference goers a question: Is it okay not to belong?
Years later, in a live session with another creative practitioner, she said something that stuck: Some of us aren’t meant to belong. We simply have to attract people on our frequency.
It’s attraction and connection over belonging and fitting.
I felt like my whole world folded in on itself, in the best way. I needed that collapse. I needed something to break open.
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When I think back to those lunchroom conversations about winter break, the ones I wasn’t really a part of but overheard, or the way I could sense when someone needed someone, anyone, to sit beside them… I’d join them. No words. No explanations. No how are you’s. Just a quiet smile and my lunch next to theirs. There was a knowing. We felt each other’s thoughts and moved accordingly.
Although it sometimes felt like a superpower, the ability to quickly read the energy in a room carried weight too. I often felt like I was moving through the world with a skinned knee, but over my whole body. No off switch. I could feel it all. I could feel and sense and predict. I could hear and feel the in between messages, the bits others often missed. I rarely took a break from it.
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I never really connected to the word vacation. It didn’t belong in my vocabulary. I took my first real “vacation” or trip at 30 with my best friend at the time, and even then, my intuitive nature kept me on high alert.
I never had a safe place to just be.
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But the 50 dollars in that little envelope added up. My partner and I decided to use it to go away for a week, to explore our own definitions of vacation, together.
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For me, vacation has always meant a full disconnect from the world, even if just for a short while. But I realize now that’s not possible for someone who reads the world the way I do. Messages, inklings … they’ll always show up. And instead of trying to block them out, what I needed was a soft place for them to land. So I could acknowledge them… and like dandelion spores, let them blow and drift into the wind landing wherever they might.
I’ve written before about the creativity that bloomed in that small room I shared with my brother 35 years ago. How I’d draw lines in the carpet, rearrange furniture to create makeshift partitions, even make up rules about when he could pass through and when he needed a password.
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All kids have this kind of imaginative, protective thinking, and yes, it can show up even in the most tumultuous times. It’s how we shield ourselves. But somewhere along the line, we lose it. We replace that desire to attract and connect with the need to fit. To mold ourselves into a template we can’t even name. Writers, did your ears perk up?
As of today, I am on ... vacation.
I’m not excited because I can disconnect from everything, I’ve come to accept that when you have a purpose, you don’t fully disconnect. But you can turn down the volume.
I’ll be spending a week inside a very specific frequency. And anyone who hears it, who feels it, they'll be invited.
To pull up a chair.
Slide their lunch next to mine.
And just be.
You’re probably thinking, “Okay Chelene, but what does this have to do with writing?” I promise you, it’s deeply connected. And I said last week I was sharing something big, and here's the start: Writers today feel the pressure to fit, to follow templates, and not rock the boat. But the times we are living in call for a completely different approach and one that suits and benefits the individual writer over a long period of time. Something that can shift and change frequencies as their own worlds change.
With all that intuition talk, I believe it’s time to shake this industry up and to be honest, I’ve been saying this for the last 7 years, I was just a little bit too early. So, over the next few weeks, you’ll hear me get very vocal about the creative ecosystem and how combined with deep self work, and clarity about your writing project it can reframe the way you think of your creative practice and where it fits in your life, forever. No more whispering. I'm saying no with love to keeping this quiet.
There's something in the air, my friends!
I'm listening. I want your replies. Please share your thoughts with me about how yo want creative work to flow into the rest of your life.
Reflect + Rewrite
This Week's Reflection Question: Is it okay, NOT to belong how can attraction and connection take its place?
After answering the reflection question, revisit what you wrote.
Is there a single line—just one—that surprised you?
Maybe it stirred something. Maybe it made you pause.
Copy that line out. Sit with it.
As always, if you feel called, I’d love to see it. Hit reply and share it with me.
See you next week! If this letter moved you in some way, please forward it to a friend.
with love, Chelene
Founder, Breathing Space Creative
Want to explore more of my work? I offer bespoke writing mentorships, creative support calls, and free creative resources through my studio. But for now, just take what you need. I’ll be here.
